Do you find yourself putting up with way too many things than are good for you?
Consider many of the minor annoyances and inconveniences that weave their way into your daily life.
Do any of these resonate with you?
An annoying co-worker, business partner or employee who just rubs you up the wrong way with their trivial banter or their moaning?
Do you regularly mislay your car keys and cannot find them when you need them in a hurry?
Do you have an intermittent throbbing tooth that just won’t completely go away?
Do you often search high and low for two socks that match or having hair that won’t comb the way you want it? Do you have a long-time squeaking door hinge that drives you mad? Do your kids consistently tell you they don’t like what you cooked them?
Or what about a neighbour who insists on honking his car horn when he leaves home at 6:00am every morning? What about being 20 pounds too heavy leaving you feeling sluggish? Or maybe you have an overwhelming email inbox?
Are You Sweating The Big Stuff?
Of course, you might also be tolerating some much bigger stuff. Here we are talking about things like allowing yourself to be pressured to do things that conflict with some of your core values, or putting up with an unsatisfying relationship, or habitually going to a job you quietly loathe.
Do any of these make your list of things you are putting up? You know which things would make your list.
Tolerations
These things, big or small, are what we call your “tolerations”. They are the things you put up with because they either don’t seem important enough to make a big fuss about or, in the case of the bigger ones, you want to be rid of tolerating them but you just don’t know how.
Most of us put up with so many things that do not serve us but that we are not even consciously aware of. We habituate to these things and then just stop noticing them most of the time… but they can take a huge toll on our well being and our enjoyment of life.
Much Ado About Nothing… Or Is It?
While it may be true that, individually, these things don’t seem too problematic, when you add them together and repeat regularly, the cost in time and energy lost is not inconsiderable. In many instances, they have a significant health and/or financial cost too.
In short, the aggregate of your “tolerations” can cause a seriously negative impact on your effectiveness and your overall happiness.
So, if you recognized any of the things from the list above and, deep down, you want to be rid of them, then let’s do something about them.
8-Step Process To Cleaning Up Your Tolerations
This simple, yet powerful 8-step process will help you drop many of the things that you currently put up with that sap your energy and drive. It will free up your energy and provide you with the motivation to focus on the truly important things in your life.
The big question is, do you know just how much you are actually tolerating? Let’s take a closer look.
Step 1: Create Your List
You’ve got to get clear about what you are tolerating before you can do something about it.
So, the first task is to create a list of the things that you are putting up with.
Look at your home and work life. Within these areas, think about the people, situations, problems, material objects, equipment, yours and other people’s habits. Make the list long and varied and your target is to come up with a list of 100 or more. (If you come up with less than 20 (twenty) things I know you’re not trying hard enough 
).
Also, make sure to include even those things you assume you cannot do anything to change.
At this stage do not judge, analyze, rationalize or edit anything… that can come later. Just get the ’stuff’ out onto paper or computer.
Just becoming aware of these things can be enough of a catalyst to make changes you need. So, don’t discount anything that comes to mind, just jot it down and move on to the next item.
Don’t get overly concerned with the question of which of the ‘tolerations’ you are going to get rid of. Rather, just concentrate on constructing your list of ‘tolerations’ .
Step 2: Identify The Costs.
Now it’s time to review your list.
Against each “toleration” item you wrote, identify the cost of this putting up with it. Is it sapping your energy? Is it costing you time or money… two vital resources better deployed elsewhere? Is it negatively affecting your relationship or your career or business? There may be multiple costs on many of the things you listed. If so, note them down.
Step 3: Identify the Benefits
Now consider whether there are any benefits to each “toleration”. Let’s assume that there would have been a benefit at some point to putting up with these things. In many cases, people continue putting up with something through habit even though the original benefit no longer exists.
The “benefits” might include wanting to avoid a confrontation, or wanting to be approved of or being seen as a “nice person”, or not having the money to handle it before now, or it being a lot of effort.
Look at each of your tolerations and ask, “Is there a benefit to continue in putting up with this?”
Step 4: Know Your Reasons
Making changes and breaking habits is often not easy. Having a powerful reason for making a change will set yourself up for success. So here, you greatly aid your cause by identifying the reason you want to make a change. That is, get really clear about why you are no longer prepared to put up with this.
(Tip: Refer back to the “costs” of continuing to put up with this toleration and what you will gain by being free of it.)
Step 5: Take Your Pick
Now you can do one of a number of things to make some changes.
If you want to tackle the biggies first then highlight the ones that you feel are the most urgent, or that you think will have the most positive impact or the most leverage in your life.
If you want to ease into making changes more gently so you can get your energy and confidence going, then pick a few quick, easy looking ones and commit to immediately stopping tolerating them.
Step 6: Take Action
Now decide how you’re going handle the tolerations you’ve highlighted. What actions are you going take?
You might be surprised by how quickly you can take an action that will start the change process. For example, you might want to immediately pick up the phone and call for that dental appointment to check out your throbbing tooth. Or you could grab a pen and add “oil” to your shopping list to get rid of that door squeak. Or grab a pen and paper and brainstorm all the jobs you would love to do.
Some tolerations can be removed with one action, some take a series of actions. The thing is to act and by taking some action you will feel a positive shift in your energy level. You can then build on this and energy begets energy. And it can be addictive, as you see those tolerations drop away and feel the weight that you’ve been carrying lift off you.
Step 7: Congratulate Yourself
Congratulate yourself on each toleration that you remove, no matter how seemingly small.
Every victory counts and notice how your energy increases. In some cases the energy shift will be subtle, at other times the change will be exhilarating as you jettison those big energy sapping things that have previously held you back for so long.
The best way of witnessing these changes is to record them, say in a journal. That way you can look back and get an extra thrill by seeing your progress over a period of time. Reviewing your victories in your journal will further enhance your energy levels and motivate you to remove even more energy draining and time wasting tolerations.
Step 8: Rinse and Repeat
Do this process regularly and you’ll have cleaned up your tolerations in quick time leaving you with a new sense vigour and shine to your life.
So, what have you been putting up with for way too long and what are you going to do about it?
[Image courtesy of fuzzysaurus]
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“Stop Whining… Get A Grip!” 
